The Session
[Instagram DMs — Saturday, 10:47pm]
Sir_Damien: You ready?
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: Good. Strip. Get comfortable. I want you edging for the next hour minimum.
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: And Mike?
mikesubmits: Sir?
Sir_Damien: You’re going to send tonight. Multiple times. I don’t care what you planned to spend. I don’t care what you budgeted. You’re going to send what I tell you to send when I tell you to send it.
mikesubmits: [typing indicator — 18 seconds]
mikesubmits: understood Sir
Sir_Damien: Start edging. Let me know when you’re hard.
[Mike’s Notes app — 10:51pm, private]
I’m already hard just from reading his messages. That’s the thing about Sir Damien—he doesn’t waste time. Doesn’t ease into it. Just straight to “you’re going to send tonight.”
I told myself I’d keep it under $200 tonight. That’s what I budgeted for weekend sessions. Reasonable. Sustainable.
But he said “I don’t care what you budgeted” and my cock jumped and now I’m sitting here naked thinking about how much I’m actually going to send by the end of this.
Starting to stroke. Slow. He didn’t say I could go fast yet.
[Instagram DMs — 10:58pm]
mikesubmits: hard Sir
Sir_Damien: Already? Seven minutes. You’re eager tonight.
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: Edge for 10 minutes. Slow. Don’t stop stroking but don’t get close. Just maintain.
Sir_Damien: While you’re doing that, $50. Now.
mikesubmits: [payment sent — $50.00]
Sir_Damien: Good start. Keep stroking.
[Mike’s Notes app — 11:03pm]
$50. That was easy. Barely thought about it. He said send and I sent.
Ten minutes of slow stroking. This is the part that breaks me down. Not fast edging where you get close and back off. Slow stroking. Maintaining arousal without building to anything.
It’s making my brain soft. Making everything feel—I don’t know. Inevitable.
He’s going to ask for more. I know he is. And I’m going to send it because I’m already in that space where sending feels like the only thing that makes sense.
Six more minutes of this.
[Instagram DMs — 11:09pm]
Sir_Damien: How do you feel?
mikesubmits: good Sir. aroused.
Sir_Damien: Just aroused?
mikesubmits: [typing indicator — 24 seconds]
mikesubmits: really aroused Sir. hard to think clearly.
Sir_Damien: Perfect. That’s exactly where I want you. Now edge properly. Bring yourself close. Don’t cum. Back off. Repeat.
Sir_Damien: And Mike?
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: Every time you get close, you’re going to tell me. Understand?
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: Start now.
[Instagram DMs — 11:14pm]
mikesubmits: close Sir
Sir_Damien: Back off. Breathe. Hands off for 30 seconds.
mikesubmits: [typing indicator stopped]
Sir_Damien: $75. While you’re waiting.
mikesubmits: [payment sent — $75.00]
Sir_Damien: You didn’t hesitate.
mikesubmits: no Sir
Sir_Damien: Why not?
mikesubmits: [typing indicator — 41 seconds]
mikesubmits: because you told me to Sir. and i want to please you.
Sir_Damien: You want to please me or you need to please me?
mikesubmits: need Sir
Sir_Damien: That’s what I thought. Start stroking again.
[Mike’s Notes app — 11:17pm]
$125 so far. More than halfway to my budget and we’re not even 30 minutes in.
My hands are shaking. Not from fear. From—I don’t know what to call it. Anticipation? Desperation?
I got close and he made me stop and in that stopping, in that moment of waiting, sending the $75 felt like scratching an itch I didn’t know I had. The money went out and something in me settled.
But I’m stroking again now and the arousal is building again and I already know what’s going to happen.
He’s going to push me close again. He’s going to make me stop again. And he’s going to ask for more.
And I’m going to send it.
[Instagram DMs — 11:23pm]
mikesubmits: close Sir
Sir_Damien: How close?
mikesubmits: very close Sir. was about to stop.
Sir_Damien: But you didn’t stop. You waited for permission.
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: Good. That’s growth. Stop now. Hands off.
Sir_Damien: $100.
mikesubmits: [typing indicator — 8 seconds]
mikesubmits: [payment sent — $100.00]
Sir_Damien: Faster that time.
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: Why?
mikesubmits: because im so hard Sir. because i need to send. because it feels right.
Sir_Damien: All true. But there’s something else.
mikesubmits: Sir?
Sir_Damien: You sent faster because you’re deeper now. Your judgment is impaired. You’re aroused and denied and desperate and your brain isn’t processing cost the way it normally does.
Sir_Damien: You’re just processing: Does Sir want this? Then send.
mikesubmits: [typing indicator — stopped]
mikesubmits: yes Sir. exactly that.
Sir_Damien: I know. That’s why this works. Start stroking.
[Mike’s Notes app — 11:28pm]
$225.
Past my budget. And I don’t care.
He’s right. He’s absolutely right. I’m not thinking about the money as money anymore. I’m thinking about it as—I don’t know. Proof? Evidence? The thing I give him to show I’m actually doing this.
The arousal is making everything feel urgent and important and necessary. Every stroke feels like it matters. Every moment of getting close and backing off feels like something significant is happening.
And when he asks for money in the middle of that, it doesn’t feel like an interruption. It feels like part of it. Like the tribute is part of the edging. Like I can’t fully experience one without the other.
I’m in trouble. I know I’m in trouble.
And I’m stroking faster.
[Instagram DMs — 11:34pm]
mikesubmits: close Sir
Sir_Damien: Again already?
mikesubmits: yes Sir. sorry Sir.
Sir_Damien: Don’t apologize. It means it’s working. Stop. Hands completely off.
mikesubmits: stopped Sir
Sir_Damien: How badly do you want to cum right now?
mikesubmits: so badly Sir
Sir_Damien: Scale of 1-10.
mikesubmits: 9 Sir
Sir_Damien: Good. You’re going to stay at 8 or 9 for the next 20 minutes. Every time you drop below that, you edge back up. Understand?
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: And Mike?
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: $150. Right now. Before you start stroking again.
mikesubmits: [typing indicator — 4 seconds]
mikesubmits: [payment sent — $150.00]
Sir_Damien: Jesus. Four seconds.
mikesubmits: [typing indicator — stopped]
Sir_Damien: You’re gone aren’t you. You’re completely fucking gone.
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: Good. Stay gone. Keep edging.
[Mike’s Notes app — 11:38pm]
$375.
I sent $150 in four seconds. Didn’t think. Didn’t hesitate. Just saw the demand and sent.
Twenty more minutes of staying at 8 or 9. Twenty more minutes of this desperately aroused state where everything feels like too much and not enough at the same time.
I’m going to send more. I know I am. I can feel it. He’s going to ask and I’m going to send and the number is going to climb and I’m not going to stop him.
Because I can’t stop him. Because I don’t want to stop him.
Because this is what I’m here for.
[Instagram DMs — 11:51pm]
mikesubmits: Sir i cant
Sir_Damien: Can’t what?
mikesubmits: cant stay at this level. keep getting too close. have to stop.
Sir_Damien: Then you’re doing it right. This isn’t supposed to be comfortable. How many times have you gotten close in the last 10 minutes?
mikesubmits: 5 times Sir
Sir_Damien: And backed off every time?
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: Hands off now. Breathe. You’ve been edging for an hour.
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: You’ve sent $375.
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: More than you planned?
mikesubmits: [typing indicator — 12 seconds]
mikesubmits: yes Sir. a lot more.
Sir_Damien: Do you regret it?
mikesubmits: no Sir
Sir_Damien: Do you want to stop?
mikesubmits: [typing indicator — 28 seconds]
mikesubmits: no Sir
Sir_Damien: Then send $200 more and we’ll finish this.
[Mike’s Notes app — 11:53pm]
$200 more.
That would be $575 total.
That’s nearly three times what I budgeted. That’s money I was going to use for—I don’t even remember what I was going to use it for. Groceries? Bills? Something responsible that feels completely irrelevant right now.
He asked if I want to stop.
I typed for 28 seconds because I was trying to find a reason to say yes.
I couldn’t find one.
I don’t want to stop. I want to send the $200. I want to finish this. I want whatever “finish” means when he says it.
My hand is already opening the payment screen.
[Instagram DMs — 11:55pm]
mikesubmits: [payment sent — $200.00]
Sir_Damien: There it is.
Sir_Damien: $575 total. In just over an hour. You know that’s more than you’ve ever sent in a single session?
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: You know why you sent that much tonight?
mikesubmits: because of the edging Sir
Sir_Damien: Exactly. Because I kept you aroused and denied. Because your brain was flooded with dopamine and you couldn’t think straight. Because every time you got close and I made you stop, sending money felt like the only release available.
Sir_Damien: This is what happens when arousal and financial submission combine. You stop thinking about cost. You start thinking about need.
mikesubmits: yes Sir. i felt that.
Sir_Damien: I know you did. And now you’re going to feel something else.
mikesubmits: Sir?
Sir_Damien: Stroke. Fast. You’ve been edging for an hour. You’ve sent $575. You’ve earned this.
mikesubmits: Sir i can cum?
Sir_Damien: Yes. Cum for me Mike. Right now.
[Mike’s Notes app — 12:03am]
I came so hard I think I blacked out for a second.
An hour of edging. $575 sent. And the orgasm was—I don’t have words for it. It wasn’t just physical. It was psychological. It was the release of all the arousal, all the denial, all the desperate need to please him, all the tributes adding up to this final permission.
I’m lying here now, breathing hard, and I can see the payment confirmations on my phone.
$50. $75. $100. $150. $200.
$575 total.
And the thing is—the thing I need to write down before the clarity fully returns—I’m not upset about it.
I’m satisfied.
Not because I came. Because I gave. Because I sent what he told me to send when he told me to send it, and the orgasm was just the punctuation at the end of a sentence that was really about the tributes.
He’s right about what edging does. He’s right about the dopamine and the impaired judgment and the way arousal makes financial submission feel urgent and necessary.
But he’s also right that I earned it.
I gave him what he wanted.
And he gave me what I needed.
[Instagram DMs — 12:07am]
Sir_Damien: You good?
mikesubmits: yes Sir. very good.
Sir_Damien: How do you feel about what you sent?
mikesubmits: [typing indicator — 1 minute 4 seconds]
mikesubmits: satisfied Sir. not regret. just satisfied.
Sir_Damien: That’s the right answer. You sent what you could afford?
mikesubmits: i can afford it Sir. its more than i planned but i can afford it.
Sir_Damien: Good. Because I’m not interested in ruining you financially. I’m interested in pushing you to give more than you think you want to give. There’s a difference.
mikesubmits: i understand Sir
Sir_Damien: You did well tonight Mike. The edging. The tribute amounts. The honesty when I asked you questions. All of it.
mikesubmits: thank you Sir
Sir_Damien: Same time next week?
mikesubmits: [typing indicator — 6 seconds]
mikesubmits: yes Sir
Sir_Damien: Good boy. Get some sleep.
mikesubmits: goodnight Sir
Sir_Damien: [read 12:11am]
[Mike’s Notes app — 12:18am]
Same time next week.
I said yes without hesitation.
Even though I know what next week means. Another hour of edging. Another session where he keeps me aroused and denied and desperate. Another night where I send more than I planned because the arousal makes everything feel necessary.
But I said yes.
Because tonight proved something I’ve suspected for a while: the edging doesn’t make me send against my will. It just removes the barriers between what I want to do and what I allow myself to do.
I wanted to send $575 tonight.
I just needed to be aroused enough to admit it.
Sir Damien knows that. He knows exactly how to create the conditions where I stop performing restraint and start expressing the actual truth of what I want.
And what I want is to give.
The edging just makes that want loud enough that I can’t ignore it anymore.
$575.
I’m going to look at that number tomorrow and feel complicated about it. Maybe a little regret. Maybe some anxiety about the budget.
But right now, lying here in the dark with my body still humming from the orgasm and my phone showing all those payment confirmations?
I feel exactly like he said I would.
Satisfied.
Because I gave what he wanted.
And that’s what I’m here for.